


what if when you die, they ask how how was heaven?

by softdadironman, The_Pine12



Series: give me a fucking break [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Dark, Domestic Avengers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hurt, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Peter Parker Whump, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Precious Peter Parker, Team as Family, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-27 18:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20050402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softdadironman/pseuds/softdadironman, https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Pine12/pseuds/The_Pine12
Summary: "I wish I was more than this walking tragedy."Peter has enough on his plate. The city's been void of any crime, which is a complete bore, and apparently he has a test third block he forgot to study for. Plus, Ned's sick, and Mr. Stark blocked him because he sent too many memes.Oh, and the World ends today. Did he mention that?





	what if when you die, they ask how how was heaven?

  
  
  
  


Chapter One

_ who we are and _

_ who we need to be _

_ to survive are two _

_ very different things _

“And then he blocked me!” Peter whined, refreshing his texts with Mr. Stark. Last night there had been no crimes, no robberies, no murders - nothing for Peter to take care of. He’d spent the night sending memes too Mr. Stark, who had zero appreciation for any of them. “They were funny, weren’t they?” 

Beside him, Ned was buried in his notebook. The two of them sat in their Decathalon meeting room. The rest of the team was busy studying, but the two of them were unbothered. “Yeah, sure,” he murmured, scribbling something down. 

“You didn’t watch it, did you?” Peter sighed and rested his chin on his hand. “MJ, you like my memes, right?” 

Across the table, MJ glared at him. “Nobody thinks Boneless Pizza is funny anymore except you, Peter.” She tucked a strand of her curly black hair behind her ear. “Aren’t you supposed to be studying?” 

“For what?” he asked before hitting himself in the face. “Oh, shit, we have a history test today!” 

Ned looked up from his notebook. “What do you think I’ve been cramming for?” 

Peter deflated in his seat and reached into his backpack for his binder. “Aw, man, May’s going to kill me.” 

To be fair, it wasn’t really his fault. Peter’d been busy with boring patrols and non-existent crimes. It’s a valid excuse. 

Almost as soon as he had his binder pulled out, the bell rang. MJ stopped them at the door. “We have practice after school,” she reminded them, hugging her book to her chest. “Uh, Ned, are you okay?” She took a step backwards. 

“I’m fine,” he said, sniffling. 

She squinted her eyes. “You’re a time bomb. Go home if you’re feeling bad.” 

“It’s just a cold,” he said, shrugging. “I’ll be at practice today.” 

“No, you are not,” she snapped. “Stay away from me. I’m not getting sick.” 

Peter rolled his eyes. “MJ, I’ll take care of him.” The classroom emptied out. He looked over his shoulder before giving a sneaky peck on the cheek to MJ. 

Ned made a hurling sound and covered his mouth. “You know what hurts worse than the disease eating away at my insides? Watching that.”

MJ scoffed, grabbed her bag, and left without looking back. Peter gave Ned a rough shove as they made their way to gym class. 

“I thought it was just a cold,” Peter teased. 

“It is,” he said weakly. He gave a simple laugh, but soon enough, a harsh coughing fit took over him. Peter put a reassuring hand to his back while Ned gagged and hunched over. The fit passed, and he continued walking. 

“You sound like death,” Peter noted, scrunching up his nose. They filtered into the locker room and changed into their uniforms. Ned reached for a sweatshirt, and Peter slapped it out of his hand. “Your face is red.” He put a hand to his forehead. “You’re burning up, Ned.” 

“Dude, I’m fine,” he said, sniffling again. He slipped the sweatshirt over his head, but Peter grabbed his arm to keep him from walking out of the room. 

A whistle blew, a sure sign that class was starting, but Peter wouldn’t allow him to get far. “You should rest.” 

Ned made a push to get past him, but what was he expecting? Peter kept his superhuman grip until another coughing fit took over Ned. He put a hand to his back again. Ned reached out to steady himself on Peter’s shoulder before his eyes fluttered shut and his body went limp. Peter caught him instantly and picked him up. 

One of his classmates stepped into the locker room to yell at them for being late, but his words fell short when he saw Peter, tiny Peter, holding all of Ned in his arms. 

Peter noticed him and started to drop Ned carefully. “Oh, he’s so heavy, and I’m so weak,” he cried, very unconvincingly. “Can you tell Coach Smith that Ned passed out?”

His classmate, stunned, nodded before scampering off. Peter, with a careful arm over his shoulder, guided him towards the bench. 

“Ned, can you hear me?” Peter asked, shaking him. Ned stirred. His face was flush with a dark red and scrunched up in pain. “He’s getting help, don’t worry.” 

“Peter,” Ned rasped, reaching out for him. Peter caught his hand. 

“Just a cold, my ass,” he said, squeezing his hand. 

“Peter--” Ned started, writhing on the bench. Peter ran to get a trashcan for him to puke in. He threw himself at it and threw his head inside of it. When he raised his head, blood spilled from his lips. “It hurts.” 

Gulping, Peter stood up. “Someone call an ambulance!” he yelled. He started to run off, but Ned cried out. 

“Don’t leave,” Ned cried, reaching out. 

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Peter promised carefully. “You’re going to be okay.” Peter ran out of the locker room and found the coach. “We need an ambulance; Ned’s coughing up blood!” 

The coach yells something to the other coach, who quickly pulls out her phone and dials 911. The male coach runs into the locker room where Ned is… gone. 

The coach, unamused, tapped his foot impatiently. “Is this a prank?” 

Peter went pale. “Ned?” he called out, running into the locker room. “Ned!” He ran to the empty bench. “He was right there.” 

Peter’s Spidey Senses alerted him of danger, and he spun on his heels to see Ned lunge out of a shower stall to grab the coach. “Ned!” Peter called. 

Ned grabbed ahold of the teacher’s arm and sunk his teeth. The teacher yelled and went to throw Ned off of him. Peter grabbed Ned and pulled him off of the teacher. “Ned, what the hell?” he exclaimed. Ned turned to look at him, but Ned was… Not Ned. 

He was no longer burning to the touch. Ned felt cold, and his eyes were glazed over in an opaque color. His teacher’s blood was smeared all over his face. 

“Ned?” Peter whispered, and he snarled in response. “Coach Smith, are you okay?” 

Wincing, he held up his elbow. “The little fucker bit me!” he yelled. “What the hell?” 

Ned started to lunge for Peter, but he kept him at a careful distance. “Ned, it’s me,” he whispered. “You’re okay. You’re at Midtown High with me, Peter. Your best friend?” 

A blood curdling scream from outside the locker room sounded, and the coach was scrambling to get out of the room. “What the hell?” the coach asked, stopping short in the doorway. 

Peter, keeping a tight grip of Ned, asked, “What? What is it?” 

The teacher let out a scream. Peter grabbed Ned and pulled him to where he could see him. Just as he got there, Betty, his classmate, was latching her teeth into his teacher’s neck. 

He let go of Ned to throw Betty off of him, but it was too late. His coach let out a warbled cry and fell limp to the ground. 

Peter always thought Betty was a relatively pretty girl. He’d actually been looking forward to the double date they were going to go on, but they broke up before it could ever happen. She was nice, though, and gorgeous and one of MJ’s close friends. 

Betty was wearing Ned’s favorite sweater. She looked beautiful, or at least, she would have if not for the gaping bite mark in her cheek that exposed her bloody cheekbones.

“Betty, what’d you do?” he asked, breathless. Whatever happened to Ned happened to Betty, too. 

And they weren’t the only ones. Just beyond them, the same thing happened across the gym floor. Some bodies lay still. Some were too devoured they couldn’t get up. The mobile ones, however, were moving slowly. 

He sinks back into the locker room and shuts the door. Ned is stumbling towards him, and Peter catches him. “Ned, it’s going to be okay,” he said. “I’m going to find out what’s happening to you, and I’m going to fix it.” He moves to put a hand on his cheek, and Ned moves to bite it. Voice breaking, he says, “You’re going to be okay.” He left Ned and slipped through the locker room door. 

Peter shut the door slowly behind him. Any loud noise could give him away. He scanned the hallways for any sign of life and found nothing. There were no students skipping class, no hall monitors, no one. 

Peter made his way down the hallway. He checked through each and every classroom he came across. 

The first one he didn’t even open the door. He didn’t recognize the teacher who was sprawled out over his desk. A young girl, her face dirty, beat at the door. She had blood in her fingernails. 

Peter swallowed it down and moved on. He checked each and every classroom for any unaffected, but there were none. 

Then, there was screaming. “Stay away from her!” Peter sprinted around the hallway to see MJ with a broken chair in her hand. She held the raised chairleg towards a zombie. A freshman girl, a girl who was trying out for the decathalon team, was dead on the floor. One of the jocks on the football team was eating her insides out. 

“MJ,” he mouthed, running to grab her. She moved to hit him, but he caught it. They locked eyes, and she sighed out of relief. 

“Peter,” she whispered. “I…” 

“We have to go,” he said, grabbing her free hand. They took off. “We have to get out of here.” 

They kept running until they found their empty decathalon room. They shut the door behind them. 

As soon as the door was secured, MJ dropped the leg and fell to the floor. “I saw it… I saw it happen.” 

“MJ…” He crouched down to her level. “It’s going to be okay.” 

Her eyebrows furrowed together. “Peter, what’s going on?” 

He paused. “I don’t know, but we’ve got to get out of here.” 

“We can’t,” she said quietly. “That’s what… That’s what Alice was doing.” 

Peter didn’t really know Alice, but he knew MJ had taken a liking to her. She was the one freshman who tried out for the club, and she liked to read the same books as MJ. They would’ve gotten along well, maybe, if she’d lived. 

“MJ, look at me,” he said, putting the hands on the sides of her face. “I’m going to get us out of here.” 

He’s had to talk scared civilians out of traumatic situations like this many times before. He’d never expected the day MJ would be one of them, and the school would be his traumatic situation. 

She shook her head. “Peter…” 

“No, MJ, we can get out. Once we’re out, we’ll get everyone help.” 

A tear rolled down MJ’s face. “Peter… Look outside.” He stopped. He couldn’t look behind her. MJ grabbed his shoulders. “Peter.” 

Peter rose to his feet and walked over to the window. 

He didn’t bother stifling his gasp when he saw the majority of the student body pressed against the school gate. 

“We’re locked in,” she said. More tears started to fall. “We’re not getting out.” 

Peter ran to her to hold her close. “We’re getting out of here,” he said, embracing her. MJ sobbed into his shoulder, and he tightened his grip. “Let’s go.” 

He had to be strong. He could do this. He could do this. 

“Peter.” 

He could do this. 

“Peter!” 

A hand broke through the window, and a hand was reaching for them. His Spidey Sense warned him in time. He stood in front of MJ and kicked his classmate across the hallway. 

“Come on!” MJ kept close behind Peter as they ran down the hallway. Three of the creatures noticed and started to trail after them. Peter halted to a stop and pulled his backpack out of his locker. “This would be a really good time for my Iron Spider suit  _ not  _ to be damaged.” 

With no time to manually sit up, they started running again. They sprinted up the staircase, and they burst into an upper floor classroom. Peter opened up the window to look down at the courtyard filled with infected students. 

“Oh my god,” MJ hissed behind him. 

“Don’t look,” he warned. 

“Alice?” 

Peter turned from the window to look at the haunting girl in the doorway. Alice’s entire stomach was missing. Dark blood trickled down her jeans. Her intestines trailed on the floor when she walked.

“Alice, it’s me,” MJ said. “It’s me.” 

There was yelling from inside the school. Human yelling. 

“MJ,” Peter said, reaching out for his girlfriend. “Let’s go.” 

She was silent. “It’s okay, Alice. It’s okay.” She stepped closer to Alice, and Peter yanked her back. “She’s hurting, Peter!” 

Alice snarled and lunged to bite her, but Peter was faster. He punched Alice so hard she went flying. “Sorry,” he apologized, grabbing MJ’s hand. We got to go. 

He went to the window and climbed out of it. Sure enough, Flash was in another classroom with a younger student with him. He was covered in blood. 

“MJ, hold on and don’t let go,” he instructed, but she was silent, unresponsive. Her eyes wouldn’t meet his. Sighing, he locked the door. “MJ, stay here. I’ll come back for you.” If MJ heard him, she didn’t show any sign of it. 

He stepped out the window, making sure to slap his webshooters on, and wall-sprinted to the building. He threw open the door to Flash’s classroom. 

Flash pushed the younger student in front of him. “Ah!” he yelled, hiding behind him. 

Peter cocked his head. “Really, Flash?” 

Hearing him speak, Flash opened his eyes. “Peter?” he asked shakily. “Of all people, Penis Parker comes to my rescue? How’d you even get here?” 

“Mr. Stark designed me these shoes,” Peter lied, holding out his hand. “Let’s get you out of here.” 

Flash faked a gag, but he grabbed his hand anyways. Peter motioned for the younger boy to hold on, but he couldn’t move. “What’s wrong?” 

The kid coughed harshly. “I… I got bit,” he said. 

“Oh, we can get that cleaned,” he said, holding out his other hand. 

Flash hit him in the forehead. “Are you dumb, Parker? He’s bit.” 

“So?” he asked. 

“He’s going to turn,” Flash said, inching away. “We need to go before he does.” 

The kid cried out, “No! Please, don’t leave me. I don’t want to die.” 

Peter’s heart crumbled. “It’ll be okay,” he said, but the words felt heavy on his tongue. “It’s going to be okay.” 

“Hey, Parker? Quit the bullshit. He’s going to try and eat us in two seconds. We need to go.” 

“Shut up.” Peter grabbed on two both kids and wall sprinted back to the classroom MJ was in. MJ was pressed against the door where Alice was beating against the other side. “MJ?” 

MJ didn’t respond. She was humming slightly with her hand on the glass. 

Peter set the two down and walked to MJ’s side. “Michelle,” he said gently. 

“I’m sorry, Alice,” she whispered, pressing her face against the glass. “It’ll be okay.” She touched the doorknob, and Peter threw her over his shoulder. 

Flash was holding the exacto knife in his hand towards the crying boy. “It’s okay,” Peter repeated, even though everything was not okay. “What’s your name?” 

“E-Ethan,” the boy stammered. “I’m Ethan.” 

“Okay, Ethan,” Peter said gently. “I’m going to be right back.” He took his arm in his hand and inspected the bite. “You can’t hold on well with this hand, and MJ’s… I can’t trust her right now.” 

Ethan’s lower lip wobbled. 

“I’ll be right back.” He grabbed MJ and Flash and sprinted up to the roof, which was empty. Nobody in sight. He dropped them off, instructing Flash to keep an eye on MJ, before slipping back to Ethan’s aid. 

Ethan was at the door, in MJ’s spot. He, too, was looking at Alice. His feet could no longer support him. He was slumped against the door. 

“I’m going to die,” Ethan confessed. “That’s how it goes, you know. We get bit, and we turn into… one of them.” 

“You’re not going to die,” Peter promised, slipping his backpack off his shoulder. He fished for his first aid kit. “You’re going to be okay.” 

He said the same thing to Ned, and he… he was alone. 

Ethan coughed until he was wheezing. Peter rubbed circles into his back. 

“Peter,” he cried, “I’m scared.” 

Peter held him until his body went limp. “Ethan?” he asked, but it was already over. Alice still beat against the door. “I’m sorry.” 

He didn’t wait for him to move. He checked for a pulse and retreated to the roof. There was nothing more he could do. 

He crawled up to the roof to find Flash holding out his knife towards MJ. “Flash, put it down,” he said, carefully stepping in between them. 

Michelle wasn’t phased. Her face was void of any emotion. 

“You didn’t check her for a bite?” Flash exclaimed. 

“Michelle…?” Peter trailed off. He ran to her side. “Michelle, why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Alice… She’s in so much pain,” Michelle said, reaching out to grab Peter. “I don’t want that.” 

Peter held her tight. “MJ…” 

“Peter, you have to kill me. I don’t want to turn.” 

Peter shook his head. “You’re survived this long,” he said, clinging on to hope. “You’re going to be fine.” 

She coughed. “I told Ned I didn’t want to get sick.” She laughed humorlessly. 

Peter held her and shook his head. “No, I’m going to get help. The police should be here any second.” 

“Help’s not coming,” she sputtered weakly. 

Peter stood up. “No, we’re getting out of here.” 

Flash, keeping a careful distance from MJ, looked out over the edge of the roof. Beyond the building, creatures roamed. There was no sign of anyone else. “Whatever happened here happened everywhere else,” Flash said, putting a hand on his head. “Help’s not coming.” 

Peter refused to believe it. He rummages through his backpack for his suit, not caring about Flash right there, and held down on it. “Karen?” he exclaimed, “I need help.” 

Flash gaped, pointing a finger. “You stole Spider-Man’s suit?” He went white as if he hadn’t seen worse all day. 

Karen didn’t reply. She connected him to the teamchat, which was online, a confirmation that this thing is citywide. “Peter!” Tony sighed out of relief. “Thank god you’re okay.” 

“Mr. Stark,” he said, and he wanted to sob right then and there. But he held himself together. “My school… It’s overrun.” 

“Dammit,” Steve cursed. Loud yelling sounded over his line. Peter winced. 

“Everywhere is,” Tony replied. 

“Are we evacuating out of New York? Because--” 

“Kid,” Tony said, “there is no ‘out of New York.’ This shit is  _ everywhere. _ ” 

Peter looked over to Michelle, who was coughing up blood. “I need evac. I have a hurt civilan.” 

The comm went silent for a second. “If he’s bit, you have to kill him.” 

Peter froze. 

“Peter?” Steve continued. “You have to. That’s how this thing is spreading.” 

“We have to save them,” Peter said. “I can’t kill her.” 

MJ’s hacking got worse. She didn’t have long.

She… She had his knife. 

She had Flash’s knife pressed against her chest. Tears streamed down her face as she put pressure. Peter tackled her to grab the knife out of her hand. “Put the knife down,” he ordered, muting his side of the comm. 

“I don’t want to turn,” she begged. “Don’t let me turn into one of those things.” 

He slipped the knife into his bag. “We’re getting out,” he promised. 

“No,” she said softly. “We’re not.” 

He grabbed her to move, but she shook her head. “Kill me,” she pleaded, coughing amist her sobs. “Kill me.” 

“Do it, Peter,” Flash said, stepping back. “Do it.” 

The door on the roof burst open, which by the way, is almost always locked. He’s never known the door to be unlocked. 

It just had to be today of all days the maintenance men forgot to lock it. 

They were already too close. 

“Peter,” MJ begged, “kill me.” 

The loud whirring sounds of a helicopter approached. Flash was the first one to jump on. The soldier seated with the machine gun leaned out. “Come on!” Peter went to pick up MJ, but he stopped short of Flash.

“She’s bit,” Flash explained. “She’s bit. She’s one of them.” 

“Come on, kid,” the gunman called. 

They were already on her. He lunged forward to punch the one grabbing ahold of her foot, but there was too many of them. 

“Leave her!” Flash yelled. 

He punched them and kicked them, but there was too many. Her one bite became three. Alice was bent over her body and sinking her teeth into Mj’s skull. 

Peter froze.

He couldn’t save her. 

MJ’s screaming stopped abruptly as another set of teeth sink into her neck. Blood splatters everywhere. 

She was gone. 

The helicopter got close enough to where he could pull him inside. To his surprise, he went limp in his grip and let the man drag him on. 

They flew away into the air. The creatures swarmed MJ’s body. “Why didn’t you save her?” Peter asked, voice cracking. “You..” 

The man behind the gun shook his head. “She was bit.” 

“We could have saved her!” he screams, feeling sick to his stomach. His breathing quickens, and he hunches over. 

The helicopter flies until it lands on the helicarrier in the sky. Part of SHIELD’s doing. It’s an improvement compared to the last one. It goes to land, and Peter doesn’t stop yelling. 

The gunman ushered them off the helicopter. “Take these civilians,” he ordered to a nearby agent. 

Peter ignored the remark. “You left her to die.” He got in his face and jabbed a harsh finger into his chest. 

“You were the one who couldn’t kill her,” he spat, and Peter’s eyes widened. 

The gunman put a hand to his ear. “No, that can’t be everyone…” 

Peter stumbled off of the jet on shaky legs. An agent was trying to guide him and Flash, but Peter couldn’t focus. 

“Karen, where’s Aunt May?” Peter asked, choking. 

He stood in the landing zone with chaos around him. “I can’t locate her at this time.” 

Peter closed his eyes and struggled to get his breathing under control. “The Avengers are requesting your presence.” 

Peter ran to the edge of the helicarrier. An agent followed him. “Sir, don’t--!” 

Peter free falled off the edge. In his suit, he’d be fine. He’d get there faster than any jet could. 

He fell for hundreds of feet until he shot a web towards a building. He swang and swang until he reached the Avengers compound, which managed to stay intact. 

He slipped into the meeting room where everyone was huddled around a table. 

Tony wasn’t wearing his suit. Bruce was drowning in his labcoat with a tablet in his hands. His face was pale, and he was focused in on his work. Steve was covered head to toe with scratches, and Bucky didn’t look much better. His metal arm was sparking. 

Sam was cleaning the blood off of Natasha’s neck. 

“What are we doing?” Peter asked, outraged. “Why are we in here, and not out there? I--” 

“My scanners can’t tell the inflicted from the clean,” Tony said. “Bruce is working on it now, but there’s nothing we can do.” 

“Nothing we can do?” Peter asked. “We’re… No, that’s bullshit!” 

“Until we know what this is, we’re hanging tight. We evacuate where we can, but as of now, there’s no more clean.” 

Peter fell short. “What do you mean?” 

No one would meet his eyes. “All of the clean, that we know of, have been evacuated,” Steve finished at last. 

Natasha added, “We need to regroup.” 

“My aunt is still out there,” Peter said. “ _ May  _ is still out there.” 

“It’s not safe,” Tony spat. 

“We’re superheroes!” Peter exclaimed. “Not safe is our thing!” 

“This… disease may be airborne. We don’t know anything about it,” Tony said, forming his gauntlet around his hand. He grabbed Peter’s hand and stilled him. “So no matter how much it kills us, we’re staying here. Understand?” 

Peter, breathing heavily, falls to his chair. He brings his knees close to his chest. “You’re having a panic attack,” Tony said. “I need you to look at me.” He slipped off Peter’s mask. 

In response, Peter buried his face into his knees. His chest hitched with every breath. 

“We’ll find May,” Tony promised. “We’ll find her.” 

“Ned was sick,” Peter said, hissing in pain. His vision went splotchy, so he closed his eyes. Everything was so loud, and everything was burning, and Peter couldn’t breathe. 

Ned and MJ were dead. His classmates were dead. Hell, even May is… 

“Breathe,” he ordered. 

Peter shook his head. “I couldn’t do it, Mr. Stark,” he said, panting. “I couldn’t kill her.” 

He saw Alice and her trailing organs. His brown eyes shot open for a tear to escape. 

His idols were about to witness him breakdown, but he didn’t even care. He couldn’t. 

Ned was gone. Michelle was gone. 

It all burned so badly he wanted to die. 

“I’m so sorry,” he apologized, voice breaking. 

“You did your best.” He shook his head frantically. 

“They’re dead,” Peter yelled, the second tear falling. Tony, overtaken with grief, grabbed his shoulders. “We were the only two to live.” 

Some of the others couldn’t hide the surprise. Sam looked away, unable to look the crying teenager in the face. 

“I’m going to find May,” Peter cried, jumping out of his seat. His Spidey Sense alerted him, but there were too many superhumans reaching for him. Before he knew it, a syringe was shot into his thigh, and black spots fill his vision.

The last thing he saw was the view through the compound window. Thanks to his spidervision, he could see miles away where the rest of the world is ending. 

_ I’m sorry.  _

And it all goes silent.

**Author's Note:**

> im going to edit this later bc zombie fics are a pain in the ass to write 
> 
> if u liked and want to read more, lemme know!! this is my first collab w my bestie (our joint marvel account is @softdadironman if u wanna chat) so im excited for this series!! let me know what yall think!! bye bye <3


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